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Posted on Oct 3, 2007 in Electronic Games, Front Page Features

GODS: Lands of Infinity Review

By Ryan Stepalavich

Passed Inspection: The water is pretty

Failed Basic: Poor control scheme, terrible character graphics, poor storyline, bland voice acting, awkward menu controls, irritating music-the list goes on.

"Featuring Penthouse Playmate Kyla Cole!" This is a tagline that gives even the most die-hard gamer pause. Why – oh why – would this be a selling point for an allegedly high-quality title? Why not something about expansive gameplay, excellent graphics, or even a functional control scheme? Welcome to GODS: Lands of Infinity, where the hapless gamer is graced with none of the above.

It’s really that simple. Even starting the game is a hassle. Upon startup, the tortured soul is greeted with a menu interface that naturally has Kyla Cole adorned in six different tantalizing photo shoots, but good luck getting out of the slide show in any reasonable amount of time. Recent memory recalls a certain device called a mouse that allows users to briskly navigate from program to program, or in-between menus. However, GODS conveniently forgets this, and fails to inform the player exactly how he or she is expected to even start a game.


Upon finally entering the game, the hapless adventurer is greeted with a five minute cut scene – don’t get excited, it’s just an elaborate slideshow of concept art – describing the plot to The Lord of the Rings and not much else, in the sultry voice of Kyla Cole. Here’s a hint: there’s a reason Kyla is in Penthouse and not the Academy Awards; GODS has some of the blandest voice acting present in any video game title in the past year. Her supporting actors, as well as herself, all sound like they’re attending a lecture in "Pillaging and Plundering 101" at the local community college and not speaking of the history of the world and its impending doom.

As the blurry full-motion-video introduction comes to an end, frustration turns to fury as players experience the control system. The RPG is presented in a first-person fashion, placing the gamer in the direct role of Kyla Cole’s character, Vivien. However, GODS deems it fit to take the silky smooth WASD/Mouselook first-person control scheme and flush it down the toilet. Instead, the player gets to use the keys WASD for strafing and forward-backward motion, but must hold down the right mouse button to look around, with the cursor defaulting to exploration of crates and interaction with characters. Moving around is a complete hassle and will jar any first-person shooter veteran or seasoned RPG buff out of the entire gaming experience.

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